Diamond Dilemma

What is it with the emphasis on diamonds these days?  It seems like every time I turn on the radio I hear another commercial for Genesis Diamonds or Shane Company or Jared.  When did it become a requirement for a man to put a rock the size of a potato on his lover’s hand before she would marry him?  I did a quick inventory this week of the people around me and was amazed.  The older generation (like myself) all had reasonable sized rings with a little flare, but not a gob.  Once you got down to about 35 and younger the rings became ridiculous.  You can forget about a plain gold band too.  The bands now have to match the en-GAG-ment ring.  There are more diamonds on that thing than on one of Mr. T’s pinky rings.  It’s obscene.  But don’t worry, ladies!  If you got a crappy little diamond in the beginning those same jewelers will be more than happy to UPSELL you a newer, bigger ring now that you are established and put that scrawny little stone in a pendant setting for you… to remind you of what a loser you married and what a remarkable man you turned him into.  What a crock!  Don’t fall for it! 

 Men, if you want to test your gal’s true love for you buy her a simple, but pretty engagement ring and see what she says.  If she’s the real deal it won’t matter how many carats that sucker is.  If she IS disappointed, RUN!!!  She will be high-maintenance and you know what you ain’t got time for?  THAT!  I’m just sayin…

Freak the Freak Out

Leave it to your family to make you realize just how “special” you really are.  It was at a family gathering today that I realized that I was, in fact, the weirdo in my group.  You know how, when you look around and everyone else seems pretty normal compared to you and…oh wait…no…that only happens to me. 

So, when I was a kid I remember that my mom would use whatever she had that was old and unusable any more to dust the furniture.  It could be a t-shirt that had too many holes for my dad to wear or an old night gown of mine that was almost see through because it was so worn out.  The best dust rags were always worn out underwear though.  They were small enough and the softest cotton.  Usually these were either Dad’s or hers.  Nobody ever saw them but us and they were mostly unrecognizable at that point, so what did it matter?  Today I revealed that I still do this and was looked at like maybe I had just stripped naked and danced with the cat.  Apparently I’m the only one who took that little nugget of wisdom and ran with it. 

Another thing I remember from childhood was something my dear Grandmother would do.  She lived through both the Depression and the Great War and pretty much raised her kids on her own after her husband died so she learned to be very frugal.  One of the things she would do was to sew up her nylons with whatever she had available so that they would last longer, because she never knew when she would be able to buy more.  When I was young, I remember that she still did this.  The first time I saw her nude colored nylons sewed up I thought she had undergone some major surgery she forgot to tell us about.  She looked a little like one of the candidates for Frankenstein’s bride from the waiste down.  When the hosiery was no longer usable she would cut the feet off and save them.

Soap was also something she saved.  When the soap would get down to the last sliver, she would put those slivers in the feet of the saved nylons.  When she had enough in there she would tie them up and WAHLAH!  You have a new bar of soap!!  This is something that I also ran with.  Apparently I’m the only one.  It just sounded logical to me.  I’ll never forget the day when my daughter saw me do this and asked me, “Mommy, why do you have panty hose full of soap under the sink?”  I started to reply, “Well, hon, because you never know when you are going to run out of soap and you might need this.”  She looked at me as you might imagine she would and I stopped to realize exactly how it sounded.  I quietly closed the cabinet door and never spoke of it again until last week when I forgot to buy my face soap at the store and didn’t realize it until I got home and was out.  Guess what I did!  That’s right…I pulled that sucker out, cut off the foot and tied it up.  I have soap now for AT LEAST 3 weeks.  Who’s the weirdo now?  I’m just sayin…

Who’s Your Daddy?

You know, recently I have been hearing a lot from certain friends who don’t believe in God who tell me that they can’t possibly believe in such a “wrathful” God and how could a righteous God allow certain things to happen.  I would like to respond by saying that the complete opposite is true.  When I accepted Jesus, I became a child of God…a full-fledged adopted child of the Holy GOD.  That’s right.  God is my daddy.  Like any good father, when I do things I shouldn’t do, I’m bound to get scolded or occasionally just have to pay the consequences of my own stupidity.  Think about it like this:

So, how many of you got in trouble when you were little and got a spanking?  Maybe you got put in time out or had something you loved taken from you for a time or all together because you couldn’t behave.  Now let’s look at this on a larger scale.   God does the same thing with His children only it is felt much more because of who is doing the scolding and the taking away.  Not to mention if you will recall, a day is as a thousand years to God.  Maybe He only put you in time out for a few minutes by His clock, but to us that is several years.    Everything He tells us to do in His word is for our protection.  When we get scolded sometimes it is to teach us a lesson, but sometimes it is to teach generations after us what not to do.  Either way God has a plan and that plan is to keep us safe and out of harm’s way.  The problem is that we are human and more than a little dense.  We like to think that we know best and we are the boss of us and we will do what we want.  I don’t think so.  I’m not perfect.  I do a lot of things I shouldn’t and I always pay the price.  Occasionally I have the good sense to step back, shake my head and say “yep…good one, God.  I was an idiot.” 

The point is, we are so very lucky to have the ability to just go to God any time we want and talk things out.  We can tell Him we love him and that we are sorry or thank Him for the great things He does for us every day.  We don’t have to go through some ritual or through another person.  We can just talk to Him like we would our father because that’s exactly what He is.  I don’t know about you, but I’m pretty glad to be a part of THAT royal family.  I might be poor here on earth, but I’m rich in the things that count and that’s why I’m able to keep a smile on my face no matter what is happening around me.  It’s because I know everything will work out in the end.  My Daddy said so.  :o)

I’m just sayin…

Do I Have a DEAL for You!

I have been entertaining myself this afternoon by looking at the Facebook page where you can post things you have for sale in my area.  All I can say is there are some serious rednecks out my way.  You wouldn’t believe the crap they are trying to unload.  In addition to the amount of camo one would expect on such a site, I have seen what have been described as “real nice” couches that I wouldn’t let my dog sleep on, oodles of puppies and kittens that people need to “sale” real quick oh, and a lovely selection of 6 dickies for only $10…slightly used of course.  WOW…I really need to move. 

 It made me think though…I wonder what else you can really buy on one of these websites…so I went to the grand-daddy of them all…EBay.  Did you know you can buy “vintage” Kotex maxi pads?  Oh yeah…only a few are missing. $3.50!!  Dog, nail decals for $4.25.  A Walrus Man action figure sells for only $4.98.  Forgive me, but who is this Walrus Man and HOW did I miss THAT?!! 

 Next I moved on to Craig’s List.  That was sure to have some fun stuff.  The first thing I found was some “vindage” wine glasses for $45.  There was a Black Angus tanned hide for $540.  There it was, stretched out over a bed beckoning you to come lay on it.  I’m still not sure how I feel about that one.  I have bad visions in my head of what might have taken place on that cow-skin rug before I took possession.  <Excuse me while I shudder.>  I went on to find a “Rhinoceros figure” for only $5!  Why…it’s my lucky day!  What finished my browsing in a fit of laughter, however, was the ad selling “adult toys” right above the ad for Walkers for the Elderly!  Wow!  Really?!?!!!

 I guess the bottom line is, you can sell anything if you put your heart into it and find the right mark…I mean buyer.  So, if you get that fruitcake nobody in the family wants this Christmas or a dog collar for the beloved family pet that actually died last year, feel free to list it on one of these on-line yard sales and see what happens.  It might not “sale” but at least you will be providing entertainment for people like me.  I’m just sayin…

Muzak

Okay, so I had planned to point out in today’s post how much our music has deteriorated over the years by listing the top 10 songs for the last several decades and showing how much more substance we had back in the 80s compared with now.  Unfortunately, it became clear right away that this was not the case.  I decided, instead, to point out the insanity of what they give us to listen to.  I’m still thinking it was a little better back before the 2000s came along, but I may just be biased a little.  I’m just sayin…

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Things I wonder about

  1. Why is it that when there is a crisis on a TV show everyone becomes breathless whether they are actually doing anything or not?  This makes me crazy.  I want to shake them and say, “Dude!  All you did was phone the police.  You couldn’t be THAT out of breath.  Join a gym, friend.” 
  2. Why is everything more expensive in Canada?  Have you ever noticed that?  Most ads will list the price in USD and then Canadian dollars.  The USD is almost always less than Canadian.  Don’t they suffer enough?  Why are they being charged more for things like fragrances and special, sparkly bras?  Isn’t it enough that they endure blistering cold almost year round and that they don’t have a real beach to call their own?  Must we impose these cruelties as well? 
  3. Why are all the actors on The Haunting better looking than their real life counter parts?  I would love to see, just once, the actor come on and be butt ugly on a mule when compared to the real person the events happened to.  Instead it is usually the other way around.  It would be different if we never actually got to SEE the real person, but yeah…they shock us with that reality check pretty early on in the show.  That is sometimes scarier than the story they are telling.
  4. Is it just me or is that Elf on the Shelf the creepiest thing ever made?  There’s a reason I don’t buy dolls with realistic eyes and that is one of them.  It’s like they follow you around and think about killing you while you sleep.  You want a realistic Elf on the Shelf activity have him standing over your bloody corpse holding a knife with that weird little grin on his wee little face.  Freaky little gnome-like creature…You might as well invite clowns into your home for the Holidays!!
  5. Why are we putting braces on baby teeth these days?  Is it to avoid the humiliation as a teenager of having to look awkward so we are doing it to our children instead?  Have we gone THAT far with things?  They are going to FALL OUT people!  Wake up and stop doing whatever the dentist tells you.  These people are SKILLED at torture.  You can’t trust them.  (Unless any of my dentist friends are reading this, in which case you are all lovely people and please forgive me if I have upset you.  Please don’t accidentally forget to use the Novocaine the next time I’m in.)  I’m just sayin…

Tattoo Time Bomb

Why is it that so many people are getting tattoos these days?  Do people realize those things are permanent?  I mean, I like my hair style, but I haven’t had the same hair style since I was a kid.  I lived through the 80s like everyone else.  Can you imagine if my hair right now was the same as it was in 1988 because I had it done permanently that way?    I may have thought my bangs were ROCKIN’ at that point in time and I may have been determined to seal them that way for generations to enjoy, but at this point it would be a really bad idea.  Or even my makeup.  WOW!  The eyeliner alone would be laughed at these days. 

Let’s suppose instead, I decided to commemorate someone special to me that I love more than life itself.  Stuff happens.  Maybe that person isn’t someone I talk to anymore and hate the sight of.  Now their name and/or likeness is etched into my skin forever.  Or, say they pass away.  Now, every time I see myself in the mirror I am forced to be sad.  People who do this on purpose are truly masochistic.  There are any number of ways to honor someone who has passed.  Plant a tree.  Make a donation to their favorite cause.  DO NOT, however, ink into yourself the visage of said person. 

Maybe it isn’t a person you have a tattoo of.  Maybe it is a cute little bunny or your favorite Disney character.  Great idea if you are 18, but an employer is going to look at that and think that you are someone who clearly hasn’t grown up or if, heaven forbid you did this as an adult, makes really BAD decisions.  And what if suddenly Tigger isn’t your favorite character anymore?  What if you prefer Eyeore now?  Too bad!  You are stuck with Tigger.  No going back.  You will be looking at Tigger’s perky face for as long as you live.  And don’t even get me started on the ass hat craze.  Good gravy! 

The point is…while I respect that this is a form of art and the people who do these have a gift, think before you ink people.  This stuff doesn’t wash off.  I don’t care how “pretty” you think it is, when you are 65 years old and everything is sagging and the color has faded from that thing, there won’t be anything “pretty” or bad-ass about it.  In fact, you might have to struggle to remember what it was supposed to be.  That razor wire around your arm might look more like a picket fence.  Please keep this in mind.  I’m just sayin…