Potty Talk

So, today I thought I would write about some things that bug me.  Like to hear it?  Here it go:

  1. Women who go around with the word “Juicy” written across their buttocks.  Who wants a woman with a juicy butt?  If your butt is juicy you might want to think about wiping better.  Either that or you have eaten too many of those diet potato chips and now you have the anal leakage they talk about in the fine print.
  2. While we are on the topic of juicy bottoms my next complaint is in regards to the woman who uses the ladies room on our floor of the office building and leaves the toilet seat up and a turd floating there with no sign whatsoever of any toilette paper having been used.  My first question is this:  Do you have a hole dug in the back yard of your home where you use the bathroom?  Are you unfamiliar with the proper usage of toilets?  Is there some reason you refuse to actually sit there (seat protectors are provided) like the rest of us and do your business.  Secondly, is flushing so difficult that you feel the need to bless the rest of us with your creation?  Either this is a really backward individual or this person’s turds are so un-flushable that they could be weighted down with lead and have HMS Titanic written across the side and nothing but the paper would flush.  This baffles me.
  3. While we are on the topic of bathrooms…Why is it that people will simply run their hands under the water for a second then get enough paper towels to dry up the Hoover Dam and use the paper towel to open the door on their way out?  Like they are afraid of GERMS!  OMG!  I suppose I should be thankful they ARE using the paper towel since they didn’t bother to use soap, but I have to question what else they are touching after they leave. 
  4. People who go out into the hallway of our office building to have “personal” phone calls on their cells.  Do they not realize how much everything echoes out there?  I can hear them better there than I could have if they had just stayed in their cubes.  I know more about the divorces, custody battles, job searches and medical problems of the people I work with than I ever wanted to and all I was trying to do was wait for the elevator.  Common sense people…go outside to your car like a normal person. 

 And with that I bid you adieu.  Sorry for the rant.  I’m not perfect, but some people could be better…I’m just sayin…


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