It’s tough growing up, isn’t it? I mean, we can’t wait to be an adult so that we can make our own decisions about what shoes to wear and how we do our hair and have the ability to drive, but once we get there it’s kind of a drag. We have so many responsibilities that we didn’t count on as kids. I managed pretty well the growing up part (I was married with two step children at 20), but the growing older part…that’s a real bitch. It’s not so much that my body makes weird creaking noises when I walk or that I have hot flashes that would rival those of Joan of Ark, but the problem I’m encountering now is watching those around me age and me not be able to stop it.
There are some people that, no matter how old they are, will still be the age they were when I was a kid…at least in my head. My sister, for example, will always be in her 20s and the fun go-getter I remember from my childhood. My youngest Aunt will always be the silly fun-loving aunt that I remember from our trips to California when I was a kid. My parents, however, are aging in front of me and it is killing me. It’s tough when your dad can’t take care of things the way he used to or your mom forgets things more than she ever has. Of course, the upside to that is they can’t get onto me anymore for stuff because they need me now. LOL!! (That’s right…Shady Pines, Ma!) Still, it’s the toughest part of being an adult I think.
I’ve never been very good at accepting change either. There is evidence of that everywhere in my life…primarily with the phone I carry. Don’t get my husband started on that one. Some change, however, kills me and rips me open. Maybe it’s because I love history so much and MY history is changing and I don’t know how to deal with it. As people pass they leave what they had to others and this is somewhat difficult too because you no longer have that “place” to go to anymore or that person to see. When what is being dispersed is a house or land it is very difficult not to see that and expect to be able to just go there anymore. For example, there is land that my grandmother owned that got passed down when she died. Part of that property is being sold now and the thought of not being able to hike the same trails and see the same features she pointed out to me as a kid is ripping my guts out. Soon it will belong to strangers and over 100 years of history will belong to someone else. Part of me is excited for this, because it means that a new family will get to make their own memories there and maybe raise kids who will have all the same adventures I did in those woods, but the bigger part of me (the selfish part) is dying inside. I’m just thankful that at least I have been able to share some of that with my daughter before now. She now has those memories just like I did and knows important things about the Native Americans who had the land before us and how they used it, etc. She has seen where my Grandmother walked and the things she took care of. She has seen the unmarked cemetery on the hillside and knows that we have distant cousins buried there. She’s seen the sinkholes and the tree trunks of what used to be trees that were there before this country was founded. She’s seen the wash basin carved out of the hillside, where the Native Americans used to collect spring water. She’s splashed in the creek and caught crawdads and salamanders and ran from snakes. I’m thankful that at least I have been able to share these memories with her, if only for a little while.
I think perhaps my mom has the right idea about it all (even though it is difficult to accept.) She said she can still close her eyes and see every room in her grandmother’s house, even though they tore it down years ago. Those memories she has and holds dear to her heart. Being able to still go back there is impractical. People move on and forward and that is just how it is. Now it’s my turn to put down roots for my family and give them something to love and long for. Growing up…it sure is hard to do. I’m just sayin…
Forgive me for sounding a bit like ole Andy today, but somebody has to say these things:
Can someone please tell me what happened to buying a pound of coffee? Now when you get coffee it is in ounces like it is some precious metal. What the heck?! If there is one thing you don’t want to short someone on it is their caffeine.
Why do they make traffic lights that don’t have turn arrows or take turns? I’m tired of getting stuck on a cross street trying to go left because of all the people who are rushing to go right when the light turns green or who need to go straight from the opposite side. I’ve had to sit through three lights before because of the timing. Let the main street go like it should and then let each side street have a turn. Don’t make them go at it like something out of Hunger Games.
Why are incompetent people never fired? There are people who make it their life goal to do nothing useful and for whatever reason NEVER GO AWAY. On the flip side, take a good employee who makes an honest mistake and their head is on the chopping block immediately. Where is the common sense, people?
Why are the Cadbury Crème Eggs so much smaller now than when I was a kid? These things are way too small. Your tongue doesn’t even fit up in there now to get all the gooey cream out. I call Shenanigans!!
These are the things weighing on my mind today. Pitiful I know. Just be glad I’m not in charge of things…I would clean house. Although maybe a little light housework might be good for society and what ails it…I’m just sayin…
I took my daughter to the “Mall” in our town last night to get some shoes and see the Easter Bunny. Granted, it had been a while since I had been there as I don’t have a lot of extra money these days to just shop, but what I saw there broke my heart. There were hardly any people walking the mall and even a few of my favorite stores had been boarded up. (So much for that Petro and orange tea I was craving.) As we walked around with the place to ourselves I tried to figure out just exactly why this was happening. There isn’t another mall around us close enough to be competition yet this one was empty. Then it hit me! (The answer…not the guy hawking cell phone cases…) The internet has destroyed our malls. True, I’ve blamed the internet for destroying marriages and people’s general intelligence before, but this might be the last straw. Back in “the day” the mall was the place to hang out. It’s where people went when they didn’t really have anything else to do. On a Saturday that is where all the teenagers were. It was the place you could see all your friends in passing or just congregate at the food court and just be. It’s the place where you could see what was trending in fashion and hear the latest music, play arcade games, even buy that CD you had wanted. Now, everyone does the same things on the internet. You want to hang with your friends you have a group chat on Facebook or you Face Time with them. If you want to see what is trending you just Google it or read Entertainment on line. You can literally do everything you want on there as a youth except maybe get food. You can shop, socialize, play games (sorry arcade) and even listen to and download music. People “know” each other, but never actually get together. Another disgrace is if these businesses go out, we will be stuck paying shipping forever!
I spent 7 years working at a department store and I have to say it remains my favorite job I ever had. I cried when I quit. I got to look at pretty clothes all day, I got a discount and I met all kinds of cool people. Granted, I was on my feet for 9 hours a day, but I was THIN! If the malls close then all the high school students who were to work there will be forced into fast food jobs or work at a factory where the clothes get shipped from (if they are even in the US much less our state.) Don’t let this happen! Go out and shop till you drop this weekend. Pick things up. Turn things over. Fall in love with the ACT of shopping…you won’t be sorry…unless of course what you just picked up has just been handled by a sick 4 year old…then maybe. I’m just sayin…
I know, I know…I’m already batty…can’t be a far drive. Anyway, there are several things that are sending me there faster and I thought I would share to see if I’m the only one or if there are others out there with the same issues.
- I hate it when I’m on Facebook and I’m scrolling down and happen to pass a video and it starts playing. Facebook, if I want to see that person’s video I will click on it like a normal person. I am not so lazy that I require it to automatically start by simply getting close to it with the mouse. Stop that.
- I am tired of these ads off to the side of web pages that play video while I’m trying to read something. It is distracting and I am guaranteed NOT to buy that product because I feel harassed.
- I am tired of the ads at the top of web pages that expand if you get close to them and then when you scroll down and actually get to the content you wanted they close back up, thereby moving where you were and making you start all over. This happens a great deal to me and I’m over it.
- Back to Facebook…I’m tired of changing my sort to “Most Recent” only to log back in and have it at “Top Stories” again. I have to change this setting over and over. How do THEY know what I consider a top story? How dare they!!
- Now to work: I’m tired of spending an entire day scheduling a “must have” meeting with top executives only to find out that ONE person didn’t update their Outlook to reflect their vacation day and I have to start from scratch.
- I don’t understand how people think it is okay to stick the mouth piece to their water bottle all the way up on the filtered water spout. Other people use that! You might be a delightful person, but I wouldn’t stick my tongue in your mouth and I don’t want your mouth funk in my water.
These are just a few of the things that have been driving me crazy of late. I’m sure I’ll have more to add another day. In the meantime, if you see me starting to twitch, just ignore it. It’s the “new normal.” I’m just sayin…