Rants for June

Is it just me or does anyone else make a game of going on Facebook and looking for all the spelling/grammatical errors? People I know to be highly intelligent absolutely can’t spell.

My niece recently pointed out her disdain regarding people who say they are “blessed.” I understand where she’s coming from, but what annoys me even further is when someone tells me to “have a blessed day.” How would that happen exactly? You have to receive a blessing…it can’t be of your own volition. Now if they said to go out and BE a blessing to someone today…that I could understand.

Why do so many intelligent people get into “reality” TV? I really think it is ruining the personalities of our youths. I was at the gym the other day in the “cardio theater” and they had the TV turned to Real Housewives of Beverly Hills. I kept thinking, “Who ACTS like this?” That’s when I picked up on the person next to me (on her PHONE) talking about her problems with someone. In her Southern valley girl accent (don’t even get me started on that) she was going on about how she just can’t believe the nerve of some people and this drama and that drama and ended it with, “I’m just going to block her from Facebook.” I thought to myself…”yeah…that will teach her!” Maybe you should block YOURSELF from this stupid show and start acting like a true Southern woman. We have REAL problems, not just somebody going around running their mouths about us. We expect that. A real problem is deciding if you can get enough gas with the $10 you have left in the bank to make it to Friday. A real problem is figuring out how to handle your child’s illness or weather you should take that second job you’ve been thinking about. Real problems do not involve what someone thought of the guy you brought to the party last week or what you had on. They can think what they want. Get a thicker skin for heaven’s sake!

There is a law firm here in our city who feels the need to advertise every single morning on the local channels. It isn’t a normal commercial either. It is sort of a melodrama where we get to see what a great life the people he has sued on behalf of live now. In one, a lady is crashing a photo shoot. In another we have a lady who is involved in a dinner theater. My favorite involves the swim meet where the victim is incredibly fit. What this tells me is that there isn’t really anything wrong with these people and no matter how much surgery they had to have, their lives were not negatively impacted for the long term. So tell me why a court would award them a million dollars? And is this really the best approach to take in advertising? Look at all my lying clients that I was able to bilk millions for! If anything it makes me have a deep seeded hatred for these attorneys. I, personally, have been rear-ended twice in the last several years due to no fault of my own. Nobody was injured, but I look at the poor fellows who hit me (while totally not paying attention to traffic) and I think what their lives would be if I had managed to sue their rears off. Why? I let the insurance do its thing and I got my car fixed to my satisfaction. Was I “inconvenienced?” Why of course I was, but why would I want to add insult to injury to the dude who is already going to have a higher insurance premium? No. What doesn’t kill us does, indeed, make us stronger. I’m just sayin…


Yard Sales are for Closers

This weekend I tried, yet again, to have a yard-sale. I have never been terribly successful with this endeavor in the past, but the most success I ever had was when I had it at my late Aunt’s house. With my sister now living there, I thought I would try my luck there again this time. For six months I set things aside, priced, organized and had everything in boxes, labeled, for easy display. I advertised in the local papers and on-line and had the best signs I’ve ever seen for a yard-sale (hot pink and held in place by tomato stakes.) The day before the sale, it rained and it rained and then it rained some more. I was beginning to get the idea…God did NOT want me to go through with this. In looking at the forecast I did some praying. I did a LOT of praying. God answered, loud and clear. We had the most pleasant two days of weather that we have had in a month. What we didn’t have, however, were customers. Apparently the main signs I had created and placed ever so lovingly at the end of the street that leads to theirs were removed by the City…but I’m not bitter. Without these, only locals would know where we were and all of my directions in the advertising were useless. We were sunk. This meant that I, once again, had to box things up and tote them all back to my house where they will sit, taking up room, until I decide to try this again at my own house (or until the mice decide to make condos out of the boxes.)

 I did, at least, have a very enjoyable time with my sister, my mom and dad and my daughter. It was also nice to mingle with the locals. There was something about all that hard work, the organization and the spending all my time outdoors that has made me feel better about the lack of sales situation. The fact that I came out slightly better than breaking even also helped. Still though…all that time spent for little of nothing is a bit discouraging. I think next time I will just send random unwanted items to people I know via the US Postal Service. The idea of seeing them wild-eyed with anticipation, only to open a box of used, size 9 shoes amuses me greatly. Maybe I could even just go leave these on people’s doorsteps. Is it a ricin-laced, unpost-marked letter or a package of Barney the purple dinosaur party napkins? Every day is a new surprise! Hey! Maybe I’ll even make the news like that mystery guy who is handing out money… Or, maybe I’ll be arrested for littering…it’s a toss-up. I’m just sayin.