Great Balls of Fire!

What I’m going to talk about today may offend some of you. Be warned.

You know what gets me good and fired up? I know…there are many things, but today’s topic is very specific. I am sick and tired of seeing idiots with big trucks that have a pair of swinging balls hanging from the trailer hitch. Really, guys? Really? If this is you, listen up: STOP THAT! Stop it right now.

 Having balls on the outside of your truck either means #1: You, in front of the balls, are a dick or #2: Your wife has obviously got yours on a shelf somewhere so you are trying to overcompensate. Either way it doesn’t say very good things about you to others in traffic. Also, let’s talk about the dual exhausts you have going on there. Nothing says macho like a truck farting. One really can compare it to a fart too because not only is it loud, but it stinks. Yeah, I said it….your truck STINKS!

 Another point I’d like to make on the subject of swinging truck balls is this: How would you, Mr. Redneck, like to explain to a little girl what those shiny swingy things are on the truck in front of us? This is a conversation I would have preferred to wait to have until she was at least 12. Thank you for forcing moms and dads everywhere into one of the most awkward conversations imaginable. Thanks for that.

 In closing, if you have a set on your truck please think about what it says about you and the grief you are causing children and their parents everywhere. Take them down. Do it for the children. I’m just sayin…


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