On My Soapbox

Okay, so I’m going to hop up on my soapbox today. I’m perplexed. I looked up the information on the effects of tobacco. Per the CDC, more than 16 million Americans suffer from a disease that is caused by smoking. Worldwide, tobacco use causes more than five million deaths per YEAR. On average, smokers die 10 years younger than non-smokers. It cost more than $133 BILLION in direct medical care for adults last year. That’s a crap ton of money spent on people who are killing THEMSELVES. How is tobacco still legal? I have to sign my name and beg for a single box of Sudafed these days because I MIGHT be one of those normal looking people who makes meth with it. This is a product that I need FOR my health that I have to beg for and can only get in small quantities these days. Tobacco? No problem! Here…buy as much as you want. Oh…but be sure not to breathe on anyone else while you are smoking because it affects their health too. What’s that? You have a baby…of course…be sure to lock them in a car with you while you light up because they have so much choice in what you are doing to them. Second hand smoke can cause a number of different types of cancer, heart disease, asthma and a plethora of respiratory infections. In children, more ear infections and flu cases occur in homes where there is a smoker.  All this and I didn’t even have to pay extra. How nice!

I am not a fool. I realize that there is WAY too much money in tobacco and pharmaceuticals to think that this will ever be outlawed, but just think how much that would save a very much ailing healthcare system. Costs would plummet because there would be a massive reduction in patients suffering from things like lung cancer and emphysema and COPD. Heck! Even many sinus issues would be cleared up if people didn’t have to live around all that second-hand smoke. I’m not saying it would be a perfect world, but it would be a MUCH healthier one. Lobby your congressmen and senators. It can’t hurt. I’m just sayin…



You know what I’m tired of hearing? I’m tired of hearing people from the North making fun of us Southerners for not being able to navigate snow. #1. We are smart enough not to live somewhere that freaking cold. #2. It happens so rarely here that we are not equipped to deal with it from an infrastructure standpoint. #3. We get ice with our snow which makes it a different animal all together. #4. Most of us choose not to live on top of each other so there are a lot more roads that have to be treated before anyone can just up and go to work.

Another thing I’m tired of is hearing people from the North calling us Southerners rednecks. You know what? There are more rednecks per capita in the state of New York than all of Tennessee. Not all of New York is city, remember? I watch those reality shows on TV. There are just as many people in the hills up there who can’t read or write or speak legibly. Don’t be making fun of us.

Something else I’m tired of…remakes of classic Disney movies. How many different versions can there be of Cinderella and Jungle Book? If you want to change the story then call it something else. Stop trying to fool people into watching the garbage. All they are is a bunch of people with accents dressing in fancy clothes and trying to act.

I’m also fed up with other women speaking on behalf of all women. NO…you don’t speak for me. I realize I’m a strange bird, but I don’t like it when women are trying to make us make sense to men and say things like “We care about feelings and we need the long version of stories to feel connected.” You know what? I’m not a long-version kind of gal. I’m a “get to the point” kind of gal…primarily because I’m so freaking busy. I don’t like drama, I don’t like sappy movies, I don’t get all giddy over shoes. I know…maybe this doesn’t make me a “typical” female, but I know a lot of other women with exactly the same attitude. STOP lumping us all together!

Next, I’m tired of being told that my feelings on a subject are “wrong” or “inappropriate.” You know what? You don’t own me. If I think something is funny then I’m going to laugh at it. If something makes me sad, then I’ll cry. I don’t make fun of people and I don’t treat people badly. Some things are just funny. You can choose to be happy and amused or you can choose to be depressed and negative. I choose to find the good in situations and will take whatever bright spots I can find. Also, I find that if you laugh, others laugh with you and that is good for them too. They don’t even have to know WHY they are laughing. You know how they say, “laughter is the best medicine?” There’s a lot of truth in that and some people could really use a prescription. I’m just sayin…

What do I know?

As most of you know, my thoughts have been pretty occupied lately with ailing parents, but I still managed to find a few things that perplex me that I’d love to share with you all.

  1. I love reading the “Smart Way” traffic signs that hang above the interstate. My favorite lately has been the one sharing the statistics for how many accidents last year were due to distracted driving. I would like to point out that reading the traffic signs is very much a distraction. I wonder if maybe they are trying to beat their number for last year by causing us all to wreck.
  2. What is the proper thing to do when someone walks up to you and starts talking while you are in the process of re-applying your lipstick? It seems wrong to sit there and continue, but talking to someone while your lips are lined but not filled seems strange too.
  3. Why when people are singing do they think it is okay to substitute the word “me” with “may?” It is very irritating. You wouldn’t say “do you want to go to the movie with may?” The person you are inviting would be trying to figure out who “May” is. Just work with me here…
  4. I wonder what rabbits think about. Mine always looks like she is plotting my death…or destruction of the universe.
  5. Why is it that my house looks like a tornado hit it whether I’m home or not? If I’m home, I’m constantly picking up…shouldn’t it theoretically look better?
  6. I think the next time I have to visit anyone at the hospital I’m just going to wear surgical gloves the entire time I’m there. It’s the only way to not get sick. I visited my mom five nights last week and ended up with strep throat. How?
  7. Why is it that shows I like have seasons that consist of like 6 episodes, but other garbage has like 20 per season? That seems a bit off to me. I’m just sayin…

Can we talk about TV shows for a minute today?

First, I watch a lot of History Channel. It is one of my most viewed channels…for real. What I don’t understand though is why they spend 5 minutes after the break, explaining what we saw just before the break. If somebody took that long to pee and missed part of it, I’m pretty sure they can find it “On Demand” or something. I feel like I’m being punished for other people’s inability to keep up.

Secondly, I watch a good bit of Travel Channel and Destination America. I love to see house hunting shows that focus on beaches and Alaska…two places that I am not likely ever to move to (although I could easily make a life at the beach). What kills me though is how the couple can give the realtor a price range of, say, $100,000-300,000 and inevitably the realtor will take them to three properties that are $300,000, $315,000 and $325,000. Really? That’s a pretty big range they gave you and you can’t seem to find anything in it. I think I’d opt for a different realtor at that point. The couple almost always chooses the most expensive too. They should call the show “How to overextend yourself” rather than “Buying the Beach.” I’d like to revisit these people 5 years from now to see if they are eating Ramen and sitting on a ten year old futon because of their choices or if they just went bankrupt completely.

Third, I watch a lot of “strange” shows. I like Monsters and Mysteries in America and Ghost Adventures and Monster Quest. Of the ghost shows I enjoy Ghost Adventures a good bit because the guys on there are entertaining. They make me laugh. (Probably not on purpose though.) Ghost Hunters is fantastic, but it is basically the same thing every time. What I don’t get is why all of these shows have to take place at night so that nobody can see anything. You know, of all the hauntings I’ve heard about or experienced the majority happened during the day. The same thing can be said of Finding Bigfoot. If you want to actually find a bigfoot I think you should probably try to find them during the daylight. When you call out and get a response at 2 in the morning it is probably just one telling you in its language to shut up and let it sleep. That’s why they “yell.” I’m just sayin…