You’re out of touch, I’m out of time

That was one of the first songs I remember hearing on my Sony Walkman when I was finally able to listen to what I wanted on the radio.  Light rock…I was boring even then.  I even had dance moves!  (Yeah, that’s sad, but it is what it is.)  I have to admit though, that as a ten year old I had no idea what this song was all about.  I just liked the tune.  Now, 30 years later I totally get it.

The lyrics go, “You’re out of touch.  I’m out of time.  And I’m outta my head when you’re not around.”  Basically this is a man who is crazy about someone else, but they just won’t make time for him and it is driving him crazy.  I find this to be so true.  How many friends or loved ones do you have that tell you how much they love you, but then when you try to make plans they are just SO busy?  I know we all have lives and some of them are fuller than others, but still…if you really love someone you make time to be with them.  When you don’t all it tells the other person is that they aren’t important to you.  It’s all about priorities.  You ask your buddy to go have lunch and they are busy, but then you see pictures of them goofing off with other friends or at home with a cat.  It hurts.  Then there are our loved ones who figure you know they love you and they have lives to live.  While this is true, maybe the person you are turning down all the time just wants to be a PART of that life, and not an addition to it.  People these days are all about having “friends” and “connections” but they have forgotten what it means to have relationship.  Before the entertainment industry became what it is, all people had was each other.  They spent time together, getting to know each other.  They enjoyed the company.  Women had reasons to entertain, men had reasons to sit around and drink and tell stories, and kids had reasons to go outside or up to their rooms and play with their friends.  We had relationships…good ones…strong ones.

Even marriages have suffered at the hands of “too busy.”  How many women are so busy taking their kids here there and everywhere that they neglect their husbands?  How many husbands are so into their work or hobbies that they find spending time with their wives and families painful at times because they could be doing other things?  The more important question is what can be done to fix this?

My recommendation…how about we get our noses out of our computers/phones and set aside time with no electronics?  Maybe we could invite friends over for dinner and just sit around and gab for a few hours or go outside and play some badminton or something.  Whatever it is that you enjoy…make time for it, but involve the ones you care most about.  A wife or husband should never come second to something else in each other’s lives.  Your best friend should get preference over the knitting club.  Give the gift of time to each other because one day you may be out of touch and that person you value will just plain be out of time for it.  I’m just sayin…

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Trans-Actions

I have been quiet for a while, but another controversy has arisen that I feel the need to comment on.  Here in Tennessee there is a bill in play that will prevent trans-gendered persons from using the restroom of the gender they identify with.  I have mixed feelings about this.  There are some legitimate people out there who have done everything they can to convert to the gender they most closely identify with.  These are the people I feel for where this is concerned.  Imagine if you are a man, who has undergone surgery to appear female, you dress in heels and a skirt and then you are made to go into the men’s room.  These people endure enough ridicule as it is.  Would I be upset if someone in this scenario were in the ladies room with me and my daughter?  No.  Do you know why?  Because that person isn’t there to check out women.  She is not interested in the least in women in that capacity.  Same for a woman who wants to be a man.  Do we honestly think he is in there checking out the men/boys in there with him?  No.  Not even kind of.

Where I do have a problem with allowing trans-gendered people using these restrooms is in the instances of the perverts who will abuse this.  I think we all know that there will be cross-dressers (not actual trans-gendered people) who will do this just to raise eyebrows.  There will also be some very sick people who will try to say they feel that way, even though they really don’t.

My proposal to stop all of this insanity is just to have a bathroom added that is non-gender.  It would only really need to be one room…not a bunch of stalls.  In cases where a family restroom is already provided they could just use that instead.  It could become standard issue just like having a handicap stall is required.  This would alleviate the stress for the person as well as take away any arguments against their rights as human beings.  Most places I have been have at least one restroom that is considered a “family” room because it is large enough for a stroller and has a baby changing table.  This allows for fathers with kids to also have a place to change them, as most of those tables are only found in ladies rooms.  Why would this be so difficult to implement?

Every human being, no matter how you feel about their personal beliefs, deserves to be treated with respect and dignity. I mean, if I have to call some redneck she-devil a “lady” for the sake of toileting then I’m pretty sure I can call someone transgendered one too…with more conviction.  I’m just sayin…