20 Years

20 years ago today I said “I Do” to the man I love.  Our vows were pretty traditional.  Let’s see how we’re doing so far:

I, Jolane Harris, vow to take you, Marty Gammon, to be my lawfully wedded husband.  (so far so good)

To have and to hold from this day forward (Yep…lots of holding)

For better or for worse (heaven knows We have seen both)

For richer and for poorer (still waiting on that richer thing)

In sickness and in health (yep, got that covered)

For as long as you both shall live (I haven’t killed him, so there’s that)

Our 20 years has been filled with trials.  We have battled exes over children, raised said children, and even had a child of our own.  We have faced the loss of parents, aunts, uncles, and friends.  We have struggled through lean times financially, when we wondered how on earth we were going to make it.  We have struggled with each other as each of our personalities have evolved and changed into different likes/dislikes than when we met.  We have struggled with pride and jealousy and anger.  We have struggled with aging.  So, how did we get through all of that?  One thing never wavered.  We genuinely love one another.  When you love someone they have a part of you.  Without the other person, you are simply not whole.

We have seen lots of good times too.  We have seen his kids grow into adults with kids of their own.  We have had a child of our own that we adore and enjoy every minute of.  We have moved from apartment, to rental, to a home of our own.  We have made great friends and gone on adventures and built a life together.  We have seen successes at work.  We have found new things to enjoy together as the years progress.  Life is never dull together.

I have no idea what the next 20 years has in store for us, but I know I am looking forward to the journey together.




I’m feeling frustrated these days.  I won’t lie.  There are people all around me who refuse to see the truth for what it is.  For example, if you have a million and one health problems all related to the same thing…but you refuse to acknowledge that thing…how can you ever get well?  No amount of tests or doctor visits or medications is going to help you if you don’t fix the root problem.  It is sort of like me poking myself in the eye and complaining that I can’t see out of that eye, only instead of stopping I ask my doctor to make my eye better with salves and stuff.  It might get better, but if I’m still poking my eye it will never go away.

Also, there are the people who refuse to call a criminal a criminal.  If someone shoots a store and hits someone they are a criminal.  It shouldn’t matter if they shot the store with the intention of killing the person inside or if they shot the store itself for target practice…if they shot the store and someone died they are at least guilty of manslaughter.  Am I the only one who sees this?  So if a person commits a felony, but didn’t “mean to” and then lies about it under oath why is that person not at least charged with perjury?  And why do people just accept that?  Shouldn’t we be outraged?  I mean, even if you like the person who did it and you honestly don’t think they meant to…at the point when they start trying to cover crap up that should be a pretty big neon flashing sign that says they are guilty as all get out, right???

I’m also frustrated in relation to political correctness.  I understand not calling someone a big, dumb oaf on national television, but if I want to call that person a big, dumb oaf in the comfort of my own home or on the street somewhere, regardless of how offensive it is to do so I should be okay to say that.  Yes, calling someone an oaf is offensive to that person, but I have been called much worse.  The difference is that I put on my grown up drawers every day and let that stuff just roll off me.  Not everyone is going to like me.  Not everyone is going to agree with my life or the things in it.  The thing is, I don’t deny them the right to hate me or verbally assault me.  I don’t live with that person.  I doubt very much if that person plans to attack me at some point.  They just don’t like me and want me to know it.  Okay…why do I care?  Why would I take that personally?  Is it someone I really want to like me?  Nope.  Will they in any way effect my job or my family?  Nope.  Then why cause such a ruckus?  Let them be the miserable, sad little person that they are and live in the cesspool of ignorance and hate that they have created.  Who’s the real loser here?  Certainly not me.  In fact, not having that person around me is what I call “winning.”

My point here is that we are currently living in a society that is constantly putting band aids on things instead of treating the underlying severity of the issues.  It isn’t about money or about “strategery” or anything like that…it is just laziness.  Nobody wants to deal with anything.  They don’t want to deal with the backlash of charging someone with the crime they committed so they just leave it alone to keep the peace.  They don’t want to deal with a patient who is angry and stops seeing them, so they just do what the patient wants, even if it doesn’t make sense.  Nobody wants to deal with having their feelings hurt, so they prosecute anyone who disagrees with them or runs that person’s name in the ground for having a differing opinion.  This has to stop.  People need to care again and stop taking for granted that someone else will deal with the real problem.  We need to grow up as a society and stop viewing the government as our mommy and daddy.  Are we broke?  That’s okay…the government will give us free stuff.  Are we offended?  That’s okay, the government will take care of the bully.  Are we sick because of things we did to ourselves?  That’s okay, the government will cover us.  Did we commit a crime?  That’s okay, we don’t have to pay for it if we are important enough.  What kind of a world are we leaving to our kids?  What are our kids going to do with it?  Stop drinking the Kool-Aid folks!  Think for yourselves, work hard for what you have and protect the people you love.  Make a better country for your kids and teach them to make a better country for theirs.  Learn skills that matter and teach them to your offspring.  Grow up and STOP THE INSANITY!!  I’m just sayin…