10: The colors are depressing: I mean really…everything is SO dark.
9: Everything is dying. The leaves, the grass, my enthusiasm for life.
8: Football and football fans. I’m going to leave it there so I still have friends at the end of this.
7: Darkness. It’s dark when I leave for work and it’s dark when I get home. It’s like living in a cave.
6: Pumpkin spice EVERYWHERE. It’s not even possible to go to Starbuck’s at this point. It has been overtaken by basic white chicks in yoga pants and freshly died hair. I can’t EVEN.
5: It’s cold. I mean, is this even necessary? I have to leave the house wearing three layers because around here it could change on a dime. I hate the cold. Did I mention that?
4: The whole of outdoors is on fire. For real. They are firing tobacco, people are having camp fires, rednecks are lighting their trash up instead of going to the dump. Smokey the Bear craps his pants on the regular just driving through Robertson county.
3: Hurricane Season. While this doesn’t blow us off the map, it does mean prolonged periods of rain. Add that to the dark and the cold and we might as well live in England. I mean, we fought WARS to get away from that place.
2: The Holidays. From now until January it is one whirlwind of cooking/shopping/wrapping and I’m exhausted just thinking about it. I think we should combine it into one and call it HalloThanksMas and prepare a really scary looking turkey and wrap it up, and eat it on the day. Maybe stuff it with keys to gifts you hide around the house or something. Make a game out of it. I dunno. If you choke on a key you were really bad this year and you get a trip to the ER.
1: Drum roll……SPIDERS! Why are there so many freaking spiders right now? WHY ARE THEY?!!???!!! I can’t walk through my garage, in my yard, on my porch…they are everywhere. Make them LEAVE!!!!!
Sorry if you love these things. If you do, you are the anti-me. You probably have a top ten for Spring and Summer. Also, just know that when you post your “I love fall” things to Facebook I’m totally making snarky faces at you behind your back. It’s my therapy. I’m just sayin…
jo would know 