You’re out of touch, I’m out of time

That was one of the first songs I remember hearing on my Sony Walkman when I was finally able to listen to what I wanted on the radio.  Light rock…I was boring even then.  I even had dance moves!  (Yeah, that’s sad, but it is what it is.)  I have to admit though, that as a ten year old I had no idea what this song was all about.  I just liked the tune.  Now, 30 years later I totally get it.

The lyrics go, “You’re out of touch.  I’m out of time.  And I’m outta my head when you’re not around.”  Basically this is a man who is crazy about someone else, but they just won’t make time for him and it is driving him crazy.  I find this to be so true.  How many friends or loved ones do you have that tell you how much they love you, but then when you try to make plans they are just SO busy?  I know we all have lives and some of them are fuller than others, but still…if you really love someone you make time to be with them.  When you don’t all it tells the other person is that they aren’t important to you.  It’s all about priorities.  You ask your buddy to go have lunch and they are busy, but then you see pictures of them goofing off with other friends or at home with a cat.  It hurts.  Then there are our loved ones who figure you know they love you and they have lives to live.  While this is true, maybe the person you are turning down all the time just wants to be a PART of that life, and not an addition to it.  People these days are all about having “friends” and “connections” but they have forgotten what it means to have relationship.  Before the entertainment industry became what it is, all people had was each other.  They spent time together, getting to know each other.  They enjoyed the company.  Women had reasons to entertain, men had reasons to sit around and drink and tell stories, and kids had reasons to go outside or up to their rooms and play with their friends.  We had relationships…good ones…strong ones.

Even marriages have suffered at the hands of “too busy.”  How many women are so busy taking their kids here there and everywhere that they neglect their husbands?  How many husbands are so into their work or hobbies that they find spending time with their wives and families painful at times because they could be doing other things?  The more important question is what can be done to fix this?

My recommendation…how about we get our noses out of our computers/phones and set aside time with no electronics?  Maybe we could invite friends over for dinner and just sit around and gab for a few hours or go outside and play some badminton or something.  Whatever it is that you enjoy…make time for it, but involve the ones you care most about.  A wife or husband should never come second to something else in each other’s lives.  Your best friend should get preference over the knitting club.  Give the gift of time to each other because one day you may be out of touch and that person you value will just plain be out of time for it.  I’m just sayin…

Trans-Actions

I have been quiet for a while, but another controversy has arisen that I feel the need to comment on.  Here in Tennessee there is a bill in play that will prevent trans-gendered persons from using the restroom of the gender they identify with.  I have mixed feelings about this.  There are some legitimate people out there who have done everything they can to convert to the gender they most closely identify with.  These are the people I feel for where this is concerned.  Imagine if you are a man, who has undergone surgery to appear female, you dress in heels and a skirt and then you are made to go into the men’s room.  These people endure enough ridicule as it is.  Would I be upset if someone in this scenario were in the ladies room with me and my daughter?  No.  Do you know why?  Because that person isn’t there to check out women.  She is not interested in the least in women in that capacity.  Same for a woman who wants to be a man.  Do we honestly think he is in there checking out the men/boys in there with him?  No.  Not even kind of.

Where I do have a problem with allowing trans-gendered people using these restrooms is in the instances of the perverts who will abuse this.  I think we all know that there will be cross-dressers (not actual trans-gendered people) who will do this just to raise eyebrows.  There will also be some very sick people who will try to say they feel that way, even though they really don’t.

My proposal to stop all of this insanity is just to have a bathroom added that is non-gender.  It would only really need to be one room…not a bunch of stalls.  In cases where a family restroom is already provided they could just use that instead.  It could become standard issue just like having a handicap stall is required.  This would alleviate the stress for the person as well as take away any arguments against their rights as human beings.  Most places I have been have at least one restroom that is considered a “family” room because it is large enough for a stroller and has a baby changing table.  This allows for fathers with kids to also have a place to change them, as most of those tables are only found in ladies rooms.  Why would this be so difficult to implement?

Every human being, no matter how you feel about their personal beliefs, deserves to be treated with respect and dignity. I mean, if I have to call some redneck she-devil a “lady” for the sake of toileting then I’m pretty sure I can call someone transgendered one too…with more conviction.  I’m just sayin…

Thoughts to Ponder

Yes, I know it has been a while since my last post.  Honestly, I’ve just been too exhausted to have an opinion about anything of late.  I have a few things on my mind, however, so here goes.

If you are seriously white…like almost transparent…I would like to ask you on behalf of the general public to please not decide to wear a short skirt and no hosiery of any kind.  That is not now, nor will it ever be, a good look.  I can honestly report on the subject, as I have no color of any kind myself.  In fact, I have been called “snowflake” by some.  I would never put anyone else through the trauma of wearing a short skirt and no hosiery.  It just isn’t kind.  Mid-calf or longer ladies…

Next, I have to wonder why it is that the artist decided to draw Frosty with a scarf, corncob pipe, and top hat.  All three of those things will only lead to the death of Frosty.  Snowmen aren’t supposed to stay warm or burn things near their faces.  They are made of SNOW.  Just a thought.

I have a problem with all the shows we have on TV right now with superheroes and mutants.  I mean, I could buy it when Superman 1 came out, but now that we are on like the 15th iteration of that comic I have to wonder how it is that there are always other super powers to contend with.  I thought the whole point of Superman being special was that he was the only one to escape the planet Krypton.  I could buy it when the three bad guys from Superman 2 got released from their space jail, because the story of how they got there made sense.  I can even buy that maybe there was a Super girl that made it to Earth.  That’s where the believability stops.  I can’t help but notice how many super villains seem to constantly be popping up to battle the good guys and take over the earth.  I mean, really?  Are these the cosmic cockroaches?  Not even a planetary explosion can kill these people?  Or how about the mutant obsession.  Once you get past a small handful of people born mutants they no longer are the oddities.  There are so many mutants with so many “powers” now that they almost outnumber the regular folks.  How is it that so many people are mutated?  Was there a problem with too many power lines in that many neighborhoods? Did we build subdivisions a little too close to the nuclear testing facilities?  What determines who got what mutation?  Why aren’t there two that are at least similar if not identical?

I realize these aren’t exactly questions burning on the minds of most people, but hey…nobody said I was normal.  I’m just sayin…

Let it Go

I have several psychological issues. I know what you are saying…”Who? You? No WAY!” Yes, yes I do. The first of these issues is that I have the need to control things. I’m not what you would call a “control freak,” but I really do need to control anything that directly affects me. For example, I wouldn’t try to control what you do, but if what you do is going to cause me pain I will then try to control that situation. I am a list maker, a planner, a logical thinker. I am also very task oriented in that I have to have a reason to do what I’m doing and there needs to be a goal. I have a hard time on a day off when I don’t have a purpose. I also need for things to make sense. When they don’t I am very bothered by it and will dig and dig until things fall into place in my mind. This might have made me a very good investigator, to be honest.

The other major issue I have is with trust. I have a very difficult time trusting anyone, at any time, for any reason, period. I’m a very open and honest person, but I’m not very optimistic when it comes to human nature. I tend to think that almost everyone has some ulterior motive that drives them. If someone just randomly gives me cookies, in the back of my mind I’m wondering what they want or what they did to them. Maybe it isn’t so much a trust issue as it is that I’m suspicious of everyone all the time. I didn’t start out this way, mind you. I used to be way too trusting, but then life happened. I’ve been let down by so many people as an adult that I guess I’m just sort of cynical.

When you combine trust issues with the need to control things you end up with a very bad case of anxiety. It is okay sometimes, but sometimes it isn’t. With all that was going on this last year I finally had to break down and ask my doctor for help. Now, thanks to Effexor, I am even keeled. As my friend Erin would say, I’m “medicated and mighty.” (love ya, girl!)

What I’m struggling with is that there are so many passages of the Bible that tell us not to worry or be anxious. “Be anxious for nothing.” “I know the plans I have for you.” “My eye is on the sparrow.” (that last one was for you, Bro.) At any rate, it is clear that I need to stop all this nonsense and just rely on God. It’s much easier said than done though. Everybody says things like “Let go and let God” and it sounds wonderful. It sounds like the kind of freedom that I desperately need. How do you do that though? I mean, I pray every day. I trust God to take care of me. The problem I have mostly is that I feel like I should be helping God along with the situation…there is that control issue coming through again. I have trouble being patient and allowing Him to work in my life. He comes through every single time. By now I should know this. I should be able to pray and let Him know what is truly bothering me and then trust that He will take care of it in His time. It is all that time UNTIL He takes care of it that shuts me down. I know what you’re thinking…that just makes me human. Maybe, but it sure would be nice to be able to really let things go.

I guess what I’m saying is that there is one thing I promise to work on this year. I promise to do my best to let God work. My goal will simply be to not be a hindrance. I’m going to really try to let go and actually let God and whatever the end result…take it like a grown-up. If, however, you see that I have developed a nervous tick, please understand that the control freak is in some state of mental breakdown and then throw chocolate at me and back away slowly. I’m just sayin…

Checking Out

You know what? I’m going to take a break from social media for a while. Not Pinterest though…you can learn things there. I’m just tired I guess. I’m tired of seeing everyone’s drama played out before the world. I’m tired of hearing everyone’s opinions about politics, religion, and child rearing. I’ve grown more and more cynical as each day passes.

I firmly believe that social media and, in large part the internet, has ruined more lives than it has helped. I’ve enjoyed reconnecting with long lost friends and seeing pictures of my family’s new babies, etc. What I haven’t enjoyed is hearing about my friends whose marriages were broken because of the ease of “chatting” on Facebook with people they had no business talking with or seeing. I haven’t enjoyed the arguments started because of strongly held beliefs. I haven’t enjoyed hearing about the ease with which people can download images and videos that they have no business looking at. Families are broken and lives ripped apart because of the selfishness of people and what they think they can get away with. There is very little integrity present in people today. It is a society of “what they don’t’ know won’t hurt them” but believe me, it does hurt them very much. Secrets are never secrets forever. Nothing is ever gone from the internet no matter what you did to erase it. Lives are never the same.

I will continue to post to this blog from time to time, but only people who really enjoy reading it will bother to log back in. Mostly this will be for me personally as an outlet for my thoughts. I won’t be gone forever, but at least for a while. I think my life will be richer because of it. Everyone should try it for a while. You might be amazed at the life you have been missing and the people who have been missing you. I’m just sayin…

Justice for None

Is there anyone currently in Nashville who does NOT know who Fart Dunham is at this point? (I changed the name so as not to get sued for libel.) If so, what rock do you live under and may I please move in? I honestly think the man has pre-paid for his commercials to run for at least 10 years after he dies. If I have to see one more obnoxious chick do a biker photo shoot or attempt to teach dance to kids who have less talent than an unfortunate individual having a seizure then my head just may explode. I don’t know where he finds these women, but I can only hope they are either family of some kind or that Fart Jr. is getting plenty of strange because when choosing candidates I think they took the first ones on their list of auditions. Now, in addition to the TV ads that air every five minutes during all morning programming, we get to look at his very photo shopped mug on city buses. Today I even came across a billboard advertising how “down to earth” they are. Really? Because millions of dollars really makes a person “relatable.”

At least now he has a little competition with Potsie (name changed for sake of lawsuits) “Justice for all.” What about the person getting sued for millions for an accident that only cost thousands? Where is the justice for that person? At least get a believable slogan like the other guy whose line is “For the People.” He doesn’t specify WHICH people, but it works. Of course I don’t remember his name, but I’ll bet Google could find him.

What I guess I’m saying is that I’m tired of boring lawyer commercials. At least at one point they were like a soap opera and you spent the next five days trying to figure out exactly what you just watched and was your brain affected in some non-reversible way. Having name recognition is one thing…making a mockery of the legal system is another. I’m just sayin…

Oh Christmas Tree

There is nothing like walking into the living room in the middle of the night with all the lights off except the Christmas tree. There is something about curling up on the sofa, wrapped in your favorite blanket, and just staring at the glow. One by one I think of all the ornaments that decorate it. There is the wooden donkey that my Sunday school teacher brought back from Jerusalem when I was in the 6th grade. Next to that I see the ceramic angel that Ms. Brown gave to me when I was the only child who didn’t win one in the game they were playing at the party. Close to the top of the tree I see the tiny angel hugging her knees with her halo askew that we always used as our tree topper when I was growing up. She has really seen some rough times, but although a little stained, she is still beautiful. Farther down the tree is the quilted ornament that was made by my great grandmother and passed on to me my first Christmas as a married woman. There are the Hallmark ornaments that commemorate our first Christmas together, our baby’s first Christmas, our first Christmas in our new home, etc. There is the beautiful silver dove that commemorates my late mother-in-law. There are many hand-made ornaments that our children have contributed over the years. When I look at our tree, no matter how big or small it is, I see not just a tree, but I see love. I see a representation of years well spent with people who matter. I see the kindness of people who have been important in my life, some just for a short while. I see a tree also whose life was cut short so that I could have the beauty of it in my home.

I have some friends who like to argue with me that the tree has nothing really to do with Christmas. I would beg to differ. My tree represents many things. First, that tree died so I could have something beautiful. That represents Christ’s sacrifice for me. The ornaments that adorn it are reminders of love and beauty of character, both things that Christ came to show us. The ratty ornaments that have seen better days remind me that no matter how soiled I get, the Father still sees beauty in me and worth. The lights are representative of the stars that were in the sky the night He was born in a manger. The angel on top is a reminder of the angel that told of His birth. And, of course, the cats and dog that are all up in the tree could represent the stable animals that the Holy family shared that night with (although it is doubtful the stable animals made such a mess of the Holy family’s living room.) I’m just sayin…